Bonus Bonanza (7/10)

━━ 🐈‍⬛ ━━

Good news: The enemies can’t make sense of Lu Yao’s various actions, so they’ll lose some of their judgment as a result. 

Bad news: Sometimes even his teammates can’t figure him out either.

Jiang Xingrui knew full well that Lu Yao would never actually make a deal with those people; mentioning a deal was just a ploy to trick Qi Ba and Qi Jiu into revealing their hideout. —After all, Lu Yao is a man of principle.

…Probably.

In this situation, the next step should be to continue putting pressure on Qi Ba and Qi Jiu, interrogating them, and adding some psychological torture to help the plan move forward more smoothly.

But the question is, um, does this count as psychological torture?

Qin Ye and Jiang Xingrui were escorting the two prisoners, while Lu Yao walked between them, holding an alloy bone blade in his hand, its edge glinting in the sunlight.

As Qi Ba and Qi Jiu were forced to march toward Hongxing Department Store, they were ordered to blow air toward Lu Yao. If they tried to stop, Lu Yao would immediately threaten them with his knife.

After blowing for a while, the two prisoners’ cheeks were aching. Physical discomfort was, of course, a minor issue; the biggest problem was the mental strain.

Lu Yao continued to berate them:

“Blow! Blow faster!”

“You don’t even know how to blow—how are you going to brag at a drinking party? How are you going to get promoted? How are you going to earn money for your kids’ formula?”

Jiang Xingrui, standing nearby, listened with a chill running down his spine.

“Come on, bro, what you’re saying is totally out there. You’re just spouting whatever comes to mind, right? Do you even realize there’s no connection between what you’re saying?” Jiang Xingrui looked at Qin Ye in horror, only to see Qin Ye looking drowsy.

…Man, you’re pretty scary too—you actually get sleepy hearing such crazy talk! Of course, Jiang Xingrui had no idea that sleeping was Qin Ye’s form of self-redemption.

The two captives rambled on for nearly twenty minutes. During that time, Qi Ba went on a rampage six times, each time being subdued by a very reluctant Jiang Xingrui.

Qi Ba went from pleading to rage,  to cursing, to completely breaking down:

“Just you wait—once I’m released and free to do as I please, I’ll slaughter you all! I’ll lock you in the basement and **** you!”

Lu Yao turned his head and asked with a friendly expression, “My friend, do you know what happens when you give up and throw caution to the wind?”

Qi Ba gasped for breath: “What is it?”

“It’s to be shattered completely, of course.” Lu Yao reached out and grabbed Qi Ba by the throat.

Qi Ba coughed and cursed, “Let go of me! Weren’t you supposed to negotiate? You…”

Lu Yao beckoned Qin Ye over with a wave of his hand, then took the box of American cockroaches from Qin Ye’s backpack and placed it right in front of Qi Ba’s eyes.

Qi Ba began to panic: “What—what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know if you’re aware that cockroaches are actually carnivorous. I could pour this box of cockroaches into your mouth. I could subject you to all kinds of agonizing torment before you take office, making you wish you could assume the position immediately. But I’m a merciful person—even though you’ve insulted me like this, I’m still speaking gently, just like this—”

The alloy blade pressed against the other man’s throat. Jiang Xingrui, standing nearby, felt a chill run down his spine.

So that’s why you brought the cockroaches with you before setting out—you’d already planned this out, hadn’t you?

【Warning, warning, host is carrying out vigilante justice】 The system’s alert suddenly sounded.

Lu Yao paused for a moment.

“System, that doesn’t seem right. Does that mean if I end up fighting an enemy later, I can’t kill anyone? I’m not exactly Batman, you know?” The system replied: 【Normal self-defense during combat is permitted.】

Lu Yao thought about it for a moment and decided it wasn’t a big deal.

He moved the alloy bone blade away from the man’s throat, placed the box of cockroaches in front of Qi Jiu, and said: “He just mentioned the basement. Is there anything else you want to tell us?”

The cockroach was scrambling frantically inside the box, its antennae already poking out of the vent. Qi Jiu was shaking uncontrollably: “Please, please don’t do this…”

Lu Yao continued to smile gently: “I find this very strange. What gave you the false impression that the interrogation was over?” Then his voice turned cold, and his gaze grew icy: “Say what you’re supposed to say.”

After that, Qi Jiu truly confessed to most of the crimes they had committed.

In the post-apocalyptic world, the threshold for murder and robbery was very low, and people were dragged into it very quickly. Not only did they kill and rob, but they had also set up a special torture chamber in the mall’s basement.

Jiang Xingrui listened, his brow furrowed deeply.

Qin Ye couldn’t help but run his hand over his axe again and again, itching to chop these two to pieces right then and there.

“All right,” Lu Yao said. “Since you’ve confessed to your crimes, I’ll take you to the police station. I hope you’ll turn yourselves in.”

This sudden turn of events took everyone present completely by surprise.

Jiang Xingrui was speechless: “Wh-what?” Just a moment ago, he’d been so furious he could have chopped these two into mincemeat, but Lu Yao’s words abruptly yanked him out of that emotional state.

Qi Ba and Qi Jiu shot Lu Yao a look that said, “Are you out of your mind?”

Lu Yao continued, “The police station isn’t far from here. Let’s take them there first, and then we’ll go cause trouble for Qi Shi.”

Then he shrugged, saying matter-of-factly, “Taking a criminal to the police station—isn’t that common sense?” A cold wind blew by. It felt chilly.

…So it’s windy today after all. 

━━ 🐈‍⬛ ━━

Today, Linchuan’s District A wasn’t just blessed with windy weather.

It was also blessed with Lu Yao—that absolute lunatic.

The clock at Bell Tower Square had stopped, its hands frozen at 9:00 p.m. The clock face was covered in cracks. The liquid in the fountain had rotted into a dark green color, and all sorts of debris lay scattered around it.

Jiang Xingrui walked blankly at the front of the group; there were some zombies in the area, so he was in charge of clearing the way.

As he walked, he reflected that while many rules had been rewritten in this apocalypse, one rule remained a universal consensus: in this world, the strong reign supreme. He was clearly the strongest person in this squad—so why had things turned out this way?

Oh, if you factor in mental power, Lu Yao really is the strongest……

The howls of zombies echoed nearby. One crawled out of the pond; its left eye had completely rotted away, and the same disgusting liquid was oozing out of it.

Jiang Xingrui hadn’t even made a move yet when Qin Ye, startled, let out a scream. Then, while still screaming, he swung his axe at it—once, twice, three times.

Lu Yao couldn’t stand it anymore: “Are you expecting me to throw myself into your arms, teary-eyed and sobbing, while crying, ‘Don’t keep going, it’s okay now, I’m right here with you’?”

Jiang Xingrui opened his mouth: “…You’re pretty good at that line, aren’t you?” Qin Ye paused for a moment, snapping out of his fear.

…Even though it was the zombies who should really be the ones to fear.

Qi Ba and Qi Jiu seemed to be in even worse spirits. They had thought Qin Ye was normal, but now he didn’t seem quite so normal either.

Clearing out zombies as they went, Lu Yao led them across Bell Tower Square and turned into a narrow alley.

Qin Ye asked as he used his face to sense the area, “Have you ever been this way before, boss? How did you know where the police station was?”

Jiang Xingrui’s heart skipped a beat. That was indeed a good question. Lu Yao’s behavior was so suspicious—could it be that he’d served time in the slammer before?

Lu Yao replied, “I’m a law-abiding citizen, so of course I know exactly where the police station is.” Of course, the system had told him where the police station was.

Qin Ye: “Oh, right. You’re definitely a law-abiding citizen.”

But that didn’t convince Jiang Xingrui. Frowning, he said, “Lu Yao, tell me honestly—how do you know where the police station is?”

Lu Yao knew exactly what Jiang Xingrui was suspecting, so he replied earnestly, “Yes, you’re right—I have been arrested by the police before. I was tricked into using a dating app. You must have seen the banner when you went to my apartment complex—I was the one in the picture.”

Jiang Xingrui: “……” Fine, he’d just pretend he never asked.

But just staying silent like that felt a little awkward—it made him look like he’d lost. So Jiang Xingrui made small talk: “Um, do you… do you need to finish drying your hair now?”

Lu Yao answered honestly, “Actually, I finished today’s blow-dry session halfway through theirs.”

The “blow-dry task” just required being blown by the wind continuously for over ten minutes.

Jiang Xingrui: “Huh?” A… “blowing-in-the-wind task”? Jiang Xingrui struggled to make sense of Lu Yao’s words: “Why do you call it a ‘blowing-in-the-wind task’? Who assigned you this task?”

Lu Yao: “It’s just a ‘task.’ Like when a mom pressures her child to get married and says, ‘Once you’re married and have kids, my task will be complete.’ The person who assigned them this task also assigned it to me.”

Jiang Xingrui felt as if his cerebral cortex had just unfurled.

He stared blankly for a few seconds, then asked awkwardly, “Well… since the task was already completed, why did you make them keep blowing just now?” 

Lu Yao: “I just thought it was funny to see them puffing out their cheeks to blow. Since they were just standing around anyway, I had them keep blowing.” 

Jiang Xingrui: “…”

Jiang Xingrui felt as if his cerebral cortex had not only unfurled but every single fold had become incredibly smooth; what he’d forgotten earlier amid the babbling—it all melted away like a pond, flowing slowly into the past.

As an observer, Jiang Xingrui felt he’d already endured enough for one day—not to mention Qi Ba and Qi Jiu, the two people directly involved.

Their thoughts kept darting back and forth between “How did I get caught up in this nonsense?”, “Damn, is he really mentally ill?”, and “What’s he going to do to me?”

Under these circumstances, they arrived at the police station.

Since this was a new map, Jiang Xingrui took a deep breath and forced himself to focus.

The glass on both sides of the entrance hall was shattered, and waves of zombie growls echoed from inside. The windowsills were covered with bloody scratches made by fingernails; it looked as if someone had once clung to them, but the zombies had still dragged them away.

Qin Ye: “Boss, what should we do?”

Lu Yao: “Take them out of commission, then dump them at the police station.”

Jiang Xingrui opened his mouth but said nothing.

…So this is what you meant by “taking them to the police station”?

Qi Ba and Qi Jiu finally realized what was about to happen.

Qi Ba, seeing the figures shifting in the shadows, was so terrified he nearly split in two: “Please, don’t throw us in there. Please.” 

Qi Jiu, on the other hand, had broken down and started cursing: “I ￥#%￥%#￥! Have some backbone, Qi Ba!”

Lu Yao said with a chuckle, “It’s good to have some backbone—the zombies will probably find it even tastier when they gnaw on your bones later.” After saying that, Lu Yao nodded at Jiang Xingrui, who sighed: “So I’m the one who has to do all the dirty, hard work again.” Jiang Xingrui swiftly rendered them unable to move, while Lu Yao retrieved the ropes from their bodies.

The snarling from the shadows inside the door grew closer and closer. Lu Yao shoved Qi Ba and Qi Jiu toward the entrance. “Go turn yourselves in—or you can just cut off your own heads.”

“…” He hurriedly finished speaking, then immediately shut the door behind him, while Qin Ye blocked it with a mop lying nearby.

Almost at the same moment, screams and the sound of someone pounding on the door came from inside.

What Qi Ba and Qi Jiu were about to endure was far more terrifying than being killed outright.

【Congratulations, Host, on successfully delivering the criminals to the police station and ensuring the villains were punished】

【Host has successfully obeyed the law in the post-apocalyptic world】

【Congratulations, Host, on obtaining the Glock 17 pistol (Jinjiang). Using this weapon to attack criminals will not violate the rules.】

【Glock 17: Minimalist design with only 32 parts throughout the entire firearm; requires no complex maintenance and can be quickly mastered by non-professionals】

【The barrel axis is positioned close to the trigger guard, and combined with the polymer frame, this reduces weight; recoil is lower than that of most 9mm handguns】

【The only issue is that this handgun isn’t very accurate, but I’m sure you’ll overcome that, right?】

Lu Yao’s eyes lit up. A gun! He’d actually gotten a gun!

【Awarding reward…】

Wait, wait, wait… Just put it straight into my backpack, System.

He didn’t feel his backpack get any heavier—after all, this gun was really light.

Lu Yao pulled his suspenders up, and his entire demeanor became much more confident. “Let’s go,” Lu Yao said with a sweeping gesture. “We’re going to take them all to the police station.”

“Okay…” Jiang Xingrui said listlessly. 02.

It took them twenty minutes to reach the area near Hongxing Mall.

From a distance, they spotted a lookout standing there.

Jiang Xingrui frowned: “It’s an open area, so it’ll be hard to sneak up on them.”

Lu Yao thought for a moment: “Let’s disguise ourselves as zombies and approach slowly.”

His suggestion was unanimously approved, so the three of them mimicked the stiff gait of zombies, staggering and lurching in that direction. Among them, Jiang Xingrui’s imitation was the most convincing; Qin Ye’s movements were a bit clumsy, while Lu Yao’s walk resembled that of a mutated monster.

However, the lookout didn’t seem particularly wary—after all, the three of them weren’t walking in a straight line but were shuffling back and forth in a leisurely, strolling manner.

But the lookout wasn’t a fool. As they closed in a bit, he noticed them and immediately ran back into the mall.

Lu Yao drew his gun and narrowed his eyes as he took aim.

Distance… Hmph. Probably about ten or so meters. What’s this “distance correction” nonsense? He knew full well just how clueless he was about that!

Wind speed. Hmph. He had absolutely no idea how to assess it.

Applying steady pressure—I just can’t figure that out.

Since that’s the case, I might as well choose the coolest stance. The sight, the notch, and the target—all in a straight line.

He’s got the hang of it—Lu Yao felt as if he were being guided by a higher power!

【Congratulations, Host, on completing the mission to happily zone out during the holidays~】

……Damn you, System!

Lu Yao aimed at the man’s head and pulled the trigger—two shots rang out, boom, boom.

As gun smoke filled the air, Lu Yao coolly blew on the muzzle. Seeing the man get hit in the leg, he stumbled and fell to the ground. Jiang Xingrui exclaimed, “Great shooting—spot-on!”

Lu Yao:“……”

Lu Yao immediately launched into a shameless self-praise: “See? Not a single miss!”

Qin Ye: “You’re so awesome, boss! You’re the best!”

Lu Yao wiped the sweat from his brow, feeling a bit guilty.