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Bonus Bonanza (10/10)

━━ 🐈‍⬛ ━━

Torch Dragon didn’t keep Lu Yao waiting long.

In fact, Jiang Xingrui had some other information to report.

After all, he had been gathering intelligence up close for quite some time, so he felt there was a lot to report.

But He Junwen asked, “Is what you want to report just as valuable as the intelligence we just received?” 

Jiang Xingrui thought for a moment, then said earnestly, “Actually, it’s not as valuable as the intelligence we just received.”

He Junwen: “It’s not as valuable as the intelligence we just received.”

So you thought the intelligence from earlier was very valuable?

He Junwen said tactfully, “Xingrui, you might be a little tired lately. Get some rest. I’ll give you a psychological evaluation tomorrow.”

Members of the Torch Dragon typically undergo psychological evaluations upon returning from missions to prevent them from secretly becoming deranged after being exposed to traumatic experiences.

However, powerful individuals like Jiang Xingrui normally don’t need to go through this process—yet He Junwen had specifically requested it… This clearly showed that He Junwen was deeply concerned about Jiang Xingrui’s mental state.

Jiang Xingrui wanted to say something else, but Junwen insisted he get some rest, so he had no choice but to brief him on Lu Yao’s current condition.

He Junwen nodded, his voice clear and smooth: “I understand.”

Meanwhile, after sipping a cup of tea, Lu Yao realized he might be about to meet someone important to the Torch Dragon, so he pulled out his “Brotherly” cologne and sprayed it on himself—spray, spray, spray. Better wash his feet first, just in case it helps.

Footsteps echoed from outside.

Lu Yao looked up, closed his eyes, and listened.

Based on stride length, step frequency… the quality of the footsteps, body weight, and the way the lower body propels the steps… “It’s a 1.5-meter-tall girl wearing rain boots,” Lu Yao calmly concluded.

A second later, He Junwen—standing at 182 cm and wearing leather shoes—walked through the door.

Lu Yao:“……”

He consoled himself inwardly: “My assessment wasn’t too far off, after all.” 

Chen Tian, standing beside him: “Haha…”

At first glance, He Junwen—wearing a white lab coat and gold-rimmed glasses—gave off the impression of a somewhat refined rogue. The lenses obscured his cool, scrutinizing gaze, making him seem a little less cold and unapproachable.

He raised his hand to push his glasses up; his left wrist was adorned with a black wrist guard. Then he sneezed.

His sense of smell was far keener than most people’s; Lu Yao’s perfume was really getting to him.

He Junwen furrowed his brow, then gave a faint smile and said, “Hello, survivors. I am He Junwen, one of the survivors, and also the doctor for the Torch Dragon. Now that you’re here, you’re safe.”

After this warm opening remark, he first had E Yue and Chen Tian taken away for registration and assignment of duties: “You two are civilians; we’ll arrange accommodations for you first.” Then he looked at Lu Yao, who was exuding a fragrant aura, and as he recalled what Jiang Xingrui had said, a subtle feeling flashed through his mind.

He turned to Lu Yao and said, “Mr. Lu Yao, hello. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

This remark triggered Lu Yao’s passive ability, and he couldn’t help but slip up, blurting out an old running joke: “Just how happy are you?” 

He Junwen: “……”

He Junwen continued to wear a gentle, refined smile: “It seems I was too quick to rejoice.”

Lu Yao paused for a moment, then wore the expression of someone who’d found a kindred spirit—someone had picked up on his joke, and he was about to deliver the punchline; he just couldn’t hold it in any longer!

As a result, Junwen spoke up first: “We’ll conduct physical examinations and treatment shortly. Treating a Level IV zombie virus requires at least both Brother Li and me working together. After all, Brother Li is our leader. Even though you were brought here by Xingrui, according to the regulations, I’ll also need to perform a basic psychological evaluation on you.”

“Oh, okay,” Lu Yao nodded.

He understood the procedures and held them in the highest regard.

The Torch Dragon was extremely efficient; ten minutes later, Lu Yao was already seated in the psychological assessment room.

The room was clean, with reinforcement strips nailed to the corners; the windows behind the curtains had been bricked up.

He Junwen sat across from him, separated by a layer of one-way glass; behind the glass, another figure stood faintly visible—broad shoulders and a silhouette as serene as a mountain. Lu Yao looked for a few seconds, guessing that this was likely Torch Dragon’s leader, Li Yu.

He Junwen said, “I’m going to ask you a few questions now. Please try to answer truthfully as much as possible. It’s okay if you don’t want to answer—you can choose an answer in your favor.”

Lu Yao nodded: “Okay, I promise to tell the truth.”

He Junwen went through the procedure at a steady pace: “Mr. Lu, do you currently have any sexual problems?”

As the zombie virus took hold, Lu Yao felt his body temperature rising sharply. But he was a very polite person, so he wouldn’t just take his clothes off.

So he…

Lu Yao raised his hand like a schoolchild and asked, “Excuse me, sir, may I take off my clothes to answer the question?” 

He Junwen: “.”

Is what you just said a neural signal confirmed by your brainstem?

He Junwen smiled and said, “No.” Then, skipping some steps in the process, he asked directly, “Mr. Lu, do you mind if I hold your hand?” 

Lu Yao: “Alright, I don’t mind.”

He Junwen reached out; the pads of his fingers were slightly cool, his knuckles sharply defined, as they rested on the back of Lu Yao’s hand. His ability penetrated the superficial layers of Lu Yao’s skin, monitoring his heart rate and blood pressure

… He Junwen activated only a tiny fraction of his ability, performing the most basic lie-detector function.

If he activated any more of it, he’d end up sharing a body with Lu Yao.

The test began with simple questions designed to put him at ease.

“Mr. Lu, did you have any hobbies before the apocalypse?” 

“Surfing the web.”

“Oh? I like surfing the web too. Do you ever engage in online role-playing, Mr. Lu?”

Lu Yao answered honestly, “I cross-dress and insult people.”

He Junwen flashed a polite smile: “Hehe… Mr. Lu, you really have a sense of humor. Next question, Mr. Lu, what do you think is the most important thing in the apocalypse?” He figured there was no need to let his guard down anymore, so he’d just skip over the earlier part.

Lu Yao answered without a moment’s hesitation: “Obeying the law.”

He Junwen raised the corners of his lips slightly: “That’s a surprising answer. When the apocalypse strikes, some people will be relieved that they can finally break the rules. Mr. Lu, could you really do that?”

Lu Yao paused to reflect: “Ever since I realized I needed to do this, I’ve managed to stick to it so far.” Junwen narrowed his eyes slightly; he realized Lu Yao was telling the truth.

Can one still obey the law in the apocalypse? That is our belief.

He Junwen’s question grew even bolder: “If there were a group of people you really hated, and they had supplies you needed, what would you do?” 

Lu Yao: “I’d find a way to take them.”

He Junwen raised his pen, ready to take notes: “That doesn’t exactly fit with obeying the law, does it?”

Lu Yao thought for a moment and said, “I’ll force them to call me ‘Grandpa,’ and then those things will become our family heirlooms. Is there anything wrong with me taking our family heirlooms?”

He Junwen: “……”

He Junwen slowly wrote a question mark.

Even if Lu Yao used all sorts of underhanded methods to get around the law and obtain these supplies, it wouldn’t have surprised He Junwen all that much.

But why on earth did you come up with such a bizarre method… Is this something a normal human being would think of? On which page of a psychology textbook is a person like this analyzed? Would I have to look in a biological archaeology textbook?

He wanted to ask if forcing someone to call him ‘Grandpa’ wasn’t against the law either, but after thinking about it, he simply ended the topic.  Xingrui’s point seemed to make some sense—The other person wasn’t purely mentally ill; he was the kind of person who… um… um… 

He Junwen: “Next question: If you had five minutes to live, what would you do before you died?”

Lu Yao: “In the apocalypse, you can get a lot done in five minutes. First, I need to know why I’m about to die. I think I might still be able to pull through.”

Men Jun said, “…You’re overthinking this. Let’s say the apocalypse hasn’t happened yet and you’re about to die—what would you do?”

Lu Yao stroked his chin for a moment before saying, “I’d send a group text to my friends saying, ‘If you don’t forward this message, I’ll be dead in five minutes.’” 

“……”

He Junwen let out a rare “Hmm.”

Breaking with protocol, he asked a question not on the script: “Even though this isn’t part of the script, I still want to ask—is this just for the sake of it?”

Lu Yao: “This way, they’ll remember it for a long time, won’t they?” 

He Junwen thought to himself: They’ll remember you until the day they die.

“Yes.” He nodded politely, his expression unchanged.

Lu Yao continued, “There’s a saying: as long as others remember me, I’m still alive. So I’ll live for a very, very long time. The reason why I am doing this is what I said at the beginning: I feel I can still live for a long time. This is what I call ‘staying true to my original aspirations and remaining consistent to the end.’”

The absurdity of Lu Yao’s various answers went beyond the realm of rational analysis.

He Junwen nodded: “Let’s wrap up the psychological evaluation here…” He felt there was no need to ask any further questions.

He released his grip, but to his surprise, Lu Yao grabbed his wrist with a reverse grip.

Lu Yao said slowly, “No.”

The guards in the room sprang to their feet, their hands already on their weapons.

Although He Junwen’s supernatural abilities allowed him to fight, he was still slightly inferior to the main combat personnel. Being cornered at close range by an outsider like this made them extremely wary.

He Junwen didn’t move a muscle; he merely narrowed his eyes. “Mr. Lu, do you have any specific demands?” The guard standing next to him was on edge, but He Junwen remained calm, as if Lu Yao were just causing a disturbance at the hospital.

To be fair, though, what Lu Yao was doing was pretty much the same as causing a disturbance at a hospital…

Lu Yao: “Since we’ve started the test, we have to finish it.” He flashed a gentle smile—one that others found downright creepy: “Those are the rules.”

He Junwen: “……”

At that very moment, he gained a new understanding of what Lu Yao meant by “abiding by the law.”

So that’s how it is… No wonder Xingrui…

Xingrui has certainly been through a lot lately.

—But what He Junwen didn’t know was that this was only the beginning. 

Next, He Junwen asked a few more questions, and Lu Yao answered them very seriously.

He Junwen turned his notebook sideways, the pen tip pointing toward the blank page; he no longer intended to take notes.

Some answers were normal, while others were not.

He Junwen’s heart was in turmoil.

He Junwen asked, “A teammate you trust has secretly stashed a bottle of penicillin. When you discover it, he says, ‘I’m keeping this to save my life.’ What would you do?” 

Lu Yao said, “I’m allergic to penicillin, so it’s perfectly normal for my teammate to do that.”

He Junwen had no choice but to clarify: “…Your friend was hiding erythromycin.”

Lu Yao nodded and began to ponder, “Then I’d have to assess what exactly I’m suffering from. Among the symptoms erythromycin treats… if it’s just acne, then it doesn’t matter; but if I have syphilis, I might have to snatch the erythromycin away from him. If it’s prostatitis, then I’d have to…”

He Junwen interrupted Lu Yao, saying slowly, “Mr. Lu, you’re quite knowledgeable.” 

Lu Yao waved his hand. “Oh, it’s nothing special—prolonged illness turns the patient into a doctor.”

Junwen asked, “Mr. Lu, do you have any mental health issues? Do you usually feel unwell?” 

Lu Yao replied, “My mind doesn’t feel quite right most of the time. Everyone says I have a mental illness.”

He Junwen: “……”

At that moment, He Junwen felt as if his auditory cortex had suffered a functional glitch. But true to his reputation as the military strategist of the Torch Dragon, he quickly regained his composure! “Lu Yao, please continue answering the question about erythromycin.”

Lu Yao perked up, his eyes sparkling: “Hey, Mr. Wen, you called me by my name! Does that mean our relationship is getting better?”

The perfume really works! My likability rating is skyrocketing! System, I love you so much!

【……】

【Um… Host… I’m glad you’re happy…】

Junwen: “Let’s just go with that… Setting aside the medical aspect, you need erythromycin, but your friend has secretly stashed some. What would you do?”

At that very moment, the guards standing nearby were so awestruck by He Junwen that their admiration was practically off the charts. Listening to this back-and-forth exchange, the guards felt like they were about to pass out.

But he was actually able to stay calm and keep asking questions—he was such an amazing doctor!

Lu Yao thought for a moment and said, “I remember that a long time ago, when antibiotics couldn’t be mass-produced, doctors in Europe and the U.S. would extract antibiotics by processing the urine of patients who had taken them. So, theoretically, could I drink my urine?”

Junwen: “…Ugh.”

The security guard looked as if he’d just seen a ghost walk past the door.

He Junwen pressed his fingers to his temples: “What you’re thinking of is probably penicillin. That won’t work with erythromycin—only 16% of erythromycin can be recovered from urine. Its metabolism is different from that of sulfonamide antibiotics… Why am I even explaining this to you… Never mind…”

“Oh, okay.” Lu Yao sat up straight: “Well, I guess there’s no other choice. I’ll just take some erythromycin from my friend and use it myself.”

Junwen fell into a brief silence.

Faced with this problem, a kind and upright person would try every possible means—such as persuasion or negotiating with a friend—to obtain the right to use this bottle of antibiotics.

But Lu Yao’s various responses—weren’t they just another way of going to great lengths…?

Then He Junwen shook hands with Lu Yao and said in a strictly professional tone, “The test is complete. Thank you for your cooperation.”

Lu Yao: “It wasn’t hard at all—I really enjoyed answering the questions, and I took this opportunity to examine my own spiritual resolve,” he said proudly. “My spiritual resolve is unshakable!”

Junwen fell silent for half a second before continuing, “Any associations or emotional reactions you experienced while answering the questions are, in essence, natural responses to a fictional scenario. You don’t need to treat them as reality, so please don’t let this leave you with any psychological trauma.”

Lu Yao smiled warmly and said, “I won’t have any psychological trauma—don’t worry.”

He Junwen glanced at the two dazed guards standing nearby.

…It was someone else who would be left with psychological trauma.

It looked like his workload was about to increase. He Junwen let out a faint sigh inwardly. Then Lu Yao leaned in and asked, “How did I do on the assessment? Did I pass?”

He Junwen was silent for a few seconds, torn between medical ethics and personal morality.

In the end, he simply brushed the question aside. “Come with me first. I’ll go get Brother Li, and we’ll head to the ward.”

Lu Yao looked a little disappointed. “All right.”

Hmph. Did he really think Lu Yao couldn’t read between the lines?

Waaah. It’s not like he really wanted to join Torch Dragon anyway.

The security guard led Lu Yao to the ward. The hallway was spotless, with a mop that smelled of disinfectant sitting in the corner.

He Junwen walked outside and noticed that the tall figure who had been sitting there was gone. “Where’s Brother Li?” he asked.

Another guard replied in a low voice, “After the boss heard the first answer, he said he had a headache and left.”

He Junwen: “……”

What else could he say?


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