“…You like me.”

Dou Changxiao gave a soft “Mm.”

Ning Zhu tried to keep a straight face, but his features fluttered as if brushed by a feather.

He paused to compose himself before speaking again: “Changxiao. I won’t ask what you see in me—whether it’s my face, my money, my pheromones, or something else.”

“Maybe in your eyes, I really am not bad—I’m decent-looking, I’ve got plenty of money, and our compatibility is high. To be honest…” Ning Zhu chuckled, observing Dou Changxiao’s reaction as he tested the waters without giving anything away. “If you’re just looking for a hookup, I might be up for playing around with you.”

Dou Changxiao’s eyelashes suddenly lifted. Upon hearing the word “hookup,” he showed a clear look of shock, but quickly regained his cold composure. He pressed his lips together, staring expressionlessly at Ning Zhu, struggling to keep from speaking.

Seeing this, Ning Zhu furrowed his brow and understood.

He felt a slight pang of regret… If Dou Changxiao had agreed right then, he really would have considered taking this simple, casual relationship a step further.

Unfortunately, what the other man wanted was a long-term partner.

“But if you’re looking for something less pure, don’t waste your time on me. Because I’m the kind of person…” Ning Zhu sighed softly, “I’m a very strange person.”

Throughout his life, he’d received no shortage of confessions and expressions of admiration.

Back in his school days, he was probably seen as the shining star among his classmates—strikingly handsome, with top grades, and a decent enough personality. It seemed only natural that so many people liked him.

But this glamour wasn’t as wonderful as it seemed. It was nourished by a vast sense of unease. Ning Zhu knew all too well what made him who he was.

He said softly, “I have an illness—a rather serious defect.” It wasn’t a defect of the glands.

It was hidden in a much darker place, impossible to uproot. He had been afflicted with it for many years ago, ever since he was left alone on the street and locked eyes with the gaze of the one who had abandoned him.

He buried that childhood self deep within his soul, using it as soil, and then, in an almost perverse manner, drew nourishment from it, uprooting every fragile trait from his character. What eventually grew was something that appeared both beautiful and powerful.

To Ning Zhu, it was a fine illness.

As a result, he was forced to give up weakness and sensitivity, replacing them with an almost extreme sense of competitiveness and self-respect, which allowed him to go far on his own.

But it was, after all, an illness—and certainly not a healthy one.

Over the course of more than a decade of this illness, Ning Zhu discarded many traits that made him vulnerable. By discarding the sense of pain, he could endure more suffering. By discarding sensitivity, he could endure more loneliness.

But he had been ill for so long that, in the end, he even lost his instinctive longing to be loved. He had long since ceased to desire those things that would make him sad if he lost them.

…Those things were truly not essential to Ning Zhu.

He was like a skilled gardener, constantly pruning the tree of his soul—trimming away the lush yet superfluous branches to leave only the main trunk that could grow rapidly. In the end, it grew as tall as he’d wished, yet it stood bare and barren.

Ning Zhu felt that being ill like this wasn’t so bad. It was just that he simply wasn’t cut out to be someone’s long-term partner.

His capacity for happiness had likely long since been corrupted, and he feared he would be unable to bring happiness to another person.

Dou Changxiao likely preferred a Ning Zhu who appeared healthy, not a powerful yet misshapen patient.

Ning Zhu didn’t want to lay himself bare so completely in front of Dou Changxiao, so he could only say, “Well, I’m not lying to you. I really am sick. Just think of it as a mental illness.”

Dou Changxiao had been thinking: I know.

But when he saw Ning Zhu’s expression, he had a sudden, inexplicable feeling that what he was referring to went beyond a mere physical defect.

Ning Zhu was saying things that sounded like a half-hearted excuse, but his brow was slightly furrowed, and the comfort and sincerity in his eyes made Dou Changxiao’s heart tighten. He recalled the feeling he’d had not long ago when he’d seen those inhibitors in the medicine cabinet in the living room—just like now, his heart ached unbearably.

He blinked, trying to keep his emotions in check so Ning Zhu wouldn’t notice.

Ning Zhu said earnestly, “Changxiao, you’re such a good person, and you’re still young. You have a long road ahead of you. There’s no need to tie your future to an old tree like me.”

Dou Changxiao: “You think I’m a good person?”

Ning Zhu: “……”

Does this kid only hear what he wants to hear?

“Why do you think I’m a good person?” Dou Changxiao said softly. “I sold myself for money. What kind of good person could I possibly be?”

Ning Zhu: “……”

He sure has a clear sense of himself.

Ning Zhu sighed, exasperated. “The point is ‘hanging on.’ You’ll have plenty of chances to meet better people in the future… Though they probably won’t be as rich as me, at least they’ll be healthy in every way, free of illness, and more normal than I am.”

Dou Changxiao really wanted to say, “No one will be better than you.”

But in the end, he didn’t say it. After a moment of silence, he said, “Maybe.” Ning Zhu fell silent, a complex sense of relief washing over him.

“If I meet that person, how should I go about pursuing him?”

Ning Zhu raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know. Why are you asking me?”

“I’m not talking about how to pursue him.”

Ning Zhu: “Huh?”

Dou Changxiao glanced at him and said, “You know the score. I’ve been your kept man before.”  

“….. ”

“That’s a stain on your romantic history. If you were him, could you accept that your partner had a sugar daddy?”

Ning Zhu: “…I’m not him. Besides, it’s not my fault—you’re the one who said you didn’t want to fight for success anymore and chose to bow down to money.”

Dou Changxiao: “Yeah, I couldn’t resist the temptation and fell for the money. So I’m not exactly a good person, and I don’t deserve a healthy, normal partner. Since you’re sick anyway, two broken pots making a good pair isn’t so bad.”

Ning Zhu: “…Who said we’re a bad match? I’m actually pretty great.” After he finished speaking, Dou Changxiao fell silent for two seconds.

“Hmm.”

You’re a really good person. Ning Zhu froze for a moment.

The person in front of him suddenly leaned closer; Ning Zhu could almost feel Dou Changxiao’s breath on his forehead. His heart skipped a beat, and for a split second, he thought the other man was going to kiss him.

But Dou Changxiao merely said something completely unrelated: “Before coming here, I had lunch with my family.”

Ning Zhu didn’t understand why the guy had suddenly changed the subject. He took a step back, pressing himself against the wall to put some distance between himself and Dou Changxiao again.

“…And then?”

Dou Changxiao: “I had a little to drink.”

“……Huh!?” Ning Zhu stared at him with wide eyes.

Doesn’t this kid know what he’s like after drinking? Does he want to be filmed again? How dare he…

He wrinkled his nose but didn’t detect any alcohol in the air—though it might have been masked by Dou Changxiao’s pheromones.

Dou Changxiao said, “Do you want to see the receipt?”

Ning Zhu: “Why would I need to see the receipt…”

Before he could finish, Dou Changxiao pulled a restaurant receipt from his jacket and handed it to him.

Lu Chao had paid the bill. When the waiter handed over the receipt, Dou Changxiao had casually taken it and put it in his pocket, forgetting to throw it away. Ning Zhu took it, puzzled, and glanced at it. The drinks section listed two glasses: one of wine and one of apricot liqueur.

…It was all too easy to guess which one Dou Changxiao had drunk.

Just as he was feeling flustered and speechless over the receipt, he suddenly felt a warmth on the back of his neck as a hand cupped it. Ning Zhu instinctively lifted his head, and Dou Changxiao suddenly leaned down without warning. The scent of coconut and the warmth of his lips reached him at the same time.

The next moment, someone’s arms wrapped around Ning Zhu’s lower back.

Dou Changxiao held him very tightly.

Their lips remained pressed together for a few seconds before Dou Changxiao slowly pulled away.

He didn’t sit up right away, but kept his nose pressed against Ning Zhu’s, whispering, “Ning Zhu, you’re not strange at all.”

All of Ning Zhu’s thoughts were thrown into disarray by those words. He froze for a moment, parting his lips slightly, but before he could speak, Dou Changxiao kissed him again.

This time, their tongues brushed against each other.

Ning Zhu didn’t even have time to react before Dou Changxiao pulled away and stood up straight. The corner of his mouth twitched, and he could take no more: “Dou…”

Dou Changxiao offered a disclaimer: “I’ve been drinking.”

Ning Zhu: “.”

He said impassively, “Does drinking give you the right to act however you please? To kiss people whenever you want?”

Dou Changxiao: “I’m sorry.”

Ning Zhu didn’t want to let him get away with it so easily.

The excuse about drinking sounded like a cop-out, but Dou Changxiao had indeed shown him the receipt just now. Ning Zhu: “You drove here, didn’t you?”

Dou Changxiao had, but he didn’t admit it: “No. You can go down and check.”

Ning Zhu’s face darkened, his eyebrows twitching, almost knotting together.

Suppressing his embarrassment, he licked his lips to taste the lingering scent and said, “Why don’t I smell any alcohol?”

Dou Changxiao watched Ning Zhu tastefully savor the flavor with a straight face. He bit his lip with his canine teeth and asked obediently, “Want to try it again?”

With that, he obediently lowered his head and leaned in again. “……” Ning Zhu swatted his mouth away with a slap. He wiped his face, unable even to sigh.

Sigh… All this talk was like preaching to the wind. Ning Zhu couldn’t be bothered to persuade him any further.

He’d made himself clear enough; Dou Changxiao must have understood. The kid was only twenty-one after all; he’d backed off after hitting a few snags. The gift had been placed on the chair by Dou Changxiao, still unopened.

Curious about what Ning Zhu had given him, he opened it to take a look. Inside was a pair of sunglasses.

Ning Zhu remembered that Dou Changxiao really liked his sunglasses; the last time he’d been drunk, he’d stared at them for ages, so Ning Zhu had bought a new pair of the same brand. The style was slightly different, but they were both equally shiny.

Dou Changxiao fell into an eerie silence for a moment before saying, “…Thanks.”

He didn’t look very happy. Ning Zhu resisted the urge to ask why and said, “You’re welcome. You can go now.”

Dou Changxiao asked, “Are they the same as yours?”

Ning Zhu replied, “Same brand. Mine was a limited edition; you can’t get an exact match now.” But the styles were very similar. Dou Changxiao compared them and found they were practically identical.

A complex emotion flashed in his eyes.

It was as if he were happy, yet his joy was too complex to put into words.

He silently put the gift away. “If it weren’t Saturday, could I come see you at another time?”

Ning Zhu: “…”

Still not getting the hint, huh? He said, “No.”

“If I came, would you kick me out?”

Ning Zhu: “I would.”

Dou Changxiao: “Okay. Then I’ll wait for you to kick me out.”

Ning Zhu: “……”

Maybe I should just delete this little brat’s fingerprint access.